Marai: The Long Dark
20 Helius 445 NC The Flight
There is finally silence. And yet a cacophony of images and words restlessly swirl and collide as a storm in my mind. Scenes mainly from today. Seeing two of our group being taken down by Ortar opened my eyes in at least two ways. First, when he said we were wasting time saving people when we should be going straight to the task of freeing the dragons. But when he made it a point to be sure Xiulan did not survive the cave-in showed me how heartless and cold the gods could be. In all my training for the task of saving my people, I have tried to become as wise as I could to be able to make the right decisions and yet I am still amazed at some people. For instance, I have seen four senseless deaths, each one unique.
Elk was first. She inspired me to learn how to cast rituals, especially Raise Dead to prevent the next senseless death. The second person was Bail. I am not sure if he felt the need to prove himself to us but I am guessing he was just showing off his fighting prowess. So when we had just begun our first battle with him earlier today, he charged a Cleric who killed him with one touch. His thoughts had not been focused on the betterment of the group and I questioned what he may cause to happen to someone else ‘next time’. I felt his risk was too high and found him unworthy of bringing back. The group did not know I could have brought him back so did not question me. The third stung as the first one did, claiming Xiulan. Shock and confusion nearly knocked the air from me when, after we had escaped the streets full of guards, Xiulan refused to be brought back. Who will lead her people to freedom now? And the last, the hardest and by far the most painful, was the Sea Elf, Echiliano. Learning what their racial curse had caused and how he was forced to live now, filled me with a fire. No one should ever be treated so disrespectfully! When he asked me to remove his curse with the necklace, I felt like I would be just as cruel as his captors if I did not honor his wish.
I am not sure how my companions feel or if I should try to explain myself for killing Echiliano. To be sure, I will raise his name to Ilsidelius in prayer tonight during my meditation of The Flight. Jogalia, the son of Odilo, my first true companion who kept me alive. Was it for me to be able to keep his son alive? The Satyr in the jail cell where we ran into Akra and Echiliano, in some ways knew of me or at least pointed out the outcome of my actions! And Akra, what a blessing it was when we connected / reconnected with him. His force in battle rang true just it did those many years ago. Jogalia, it would seem, is blessed by Kol like his father for it was his hand that saved the Naktu, killing the host of Djiri at the last possible moment.
Thaenadir sent me on two outings to learn of the outside world but I feel I will never understand the humans! The Drakkin have a caste society where everyone understands and knows their place and purpose. Satyrs, hardworking and jovial, were willing to help their neighbor without thought of payment or benefit. The humans however, seem to be as diverse in attitudes, opinions, and actions as they look in appearance. The King, for instance, in all his cruelty, was trying to protect his people and willing to kill anyone to protect his secret, even Akra.
Xiulan, the Queen of the Shen Empire, was unwilling to bring her people through the curse to be able to start again. Konor and Jogalia have told me a little about the human girl Watseka, their previous companion. I am honored to be able to join this group by wearing the Charm of Watseka to remove my curse of feral nature. The last crushing, mind numbing blow was when Helaena gave up her Being to stop the annihilation of the Naktu people, joining Watseka on the necklace! I do not believe I will ever fathom who the humans are, as a race with such drastic variances.
Maybe we Elves take it for granted using Maraithel and knowing that absolute truth is spoken. Seeing how deceptive they can be, I realize fully why they should not be taught Maraithel. They, as a race, can not be trusted. Reading back over my entry, I realize how much my style has changed since my last two outings. I no longer feel the need to always describe every battle. This entry is not an assignment and therefore can be more of what ever I need it to be, today a tool to help me sort out the events of the day to hopefully become and learn what I need to for my people and this world! May Ilsidelius guide our hands, and our hearts!